If you think about it, it's only natural. Really. Let me explain. A lesson taught in middle school science classes describes how molecules react to temperature. You begin with a cup of water. All the molecules are close enough to keep the water together in the cup, but loose enough to flow when you tilt the cup back and forth or pour it into another cup. If you add heat to the cup of water, all those molecules get excited and start vibrating. They vibrate so fast they are pushing away from each other and, next thing you know, they're escaping from the cup, as steam. On the flip side of heat, if you place that cup of water in the freezer, the molecules slow down. Without all that movement, they settle in close to each other. Now that cup of water is less than a cup of ice.
People are like this, too. Have you ever noticed that in the summertime everyone is happy, active, busy? They're outside doing things, travelling, adventuring. Come Autumn, folks start to notice the temperature dropping and their lives slow down a bit. They prepare their homes, yards, and affairs for the winter - sometimes even subconsciously. By the time frost is on the ground and you can see your breath, you're weighed down with layers of clothes, you can hardly move around in your own home because the floor is so cold, and you sit and stand closer to the people around you. You're huddling for warmth. Every living thing does this.
It's clearly a natural time to celebrate and cultivate connectedness.
In the three years since I noticed my deficiency in this department, I have made a conscious effort to be more present in my moments. I try to slow down and look at my children when they talk to me. When I am thinking of a family member that lives far away, I try to take the time to call them. When I am grateful for something someone has done for me, I try to take a moment to send a note or email thanking them. I'm not quite where I want to be, yet. I still find myself too busy and my kids have to repeat things to me a few times. There are thank-yous that go unwritten or untold, even while they bounce around in my head. But... I am getting better.
The little things add up, though. I've got a whole pile of good connectedness from the last twenty four hours alone.
After I got the kids to school, still in my pjs, I swung by my parents' house for conversation over coffee. When they greeted me at the door, still in their pjs, I knew we would actually have some time to hang out for a bit and catch up. I was very thankful for that. It's hit or miss with those surprise visits. Many times, they're already on the move trying to get out the door to their busy day.
And then... as I was getting ready to call my grandparents after I wrote yesterday's post, I get a knock on the door. It was my beautiful neighbor standing there with a scrumptiously fragrant Christmas wreath for my front door. What a thoughtful gift! Thankfully, we had the time to sit and chat at my kitchen table for a bit. We talked of kids, friends, travel, and the appeal of intelligent, well-written individuals.
And then... I received a call from my out-of-state mom. It was the end of her work week and she was calling for update. I gave her the job search news. I didn't get that job. "Awwwww... bummer." It's actually ok, Mom, because there's a better one out there. And to this, I followed up with good news, which is another post entirely. Needless to say, she was very happy by the end of the phone call.
And then... my best friend, J, joined us for dinner. She came over with cabbage and a bottle of wine and doctored up the pot of pozole that I had started. Yummy! Even my boys loved it, despite their agitation when I told them we were having soup for dinner. While the boys got the movie night that they had been wanting, we sat in the other room talking for hours. We swapped stories of our teens and were relieved to know we weren't alone in some of the battles. We shared parenting strategies. We talked jobs. We definitely laughed, especially when best friend N called with her latest tragic funny. She's a trooper. Inevitably, she moves from feeling she's being laughed at to knowing she's being laughed with. I am grateful for their stories and we all value having each other to show us a different perspective on our problems.
And then... this morning I awoke to a beautiful quietness in my home and was finally able to make that phone call to my grandparents. As always, they were happy to hear my voice, as I am always happy to hear theirs. Grandpa asked me a question that was answered with a, "Well, I'm actually really happy being single right now." And that brought up a story from him. He told me that his grandmother, Bessie, did it on her own, too. She raised her children as a single mother (in the early 1900s in Florida). She earned money as a seamstress, working out of her home. He remembers her telling people that she could "make that for twenty five cents." They would bring her the material and thread and she would make them dresses, shirts, pants, whatever. She bought a two-story home and made rooms that she could rent out. Apparently, she was real strict. She didn't allow drinking, partying, carrying on, anything. If any one got out of line, they were out! There's another connection. I'm sure my kids will be happy to know that I come from a long line of strict moms.
Grandma told me how proud of me she was that I have started this blog. She really enjoys reading about what is going on and my thoughts, and she's happy that I am able to type fast enough to keep up with the stories, as they unfold in my head. We rarely have time to have long conversations. We were both so happy to talk to each other this morning. Time is precious, and man, it doesn't stop for anyone. My resolve to make a trip to visit them was strengthened this morning. Come Spring, we are heading up for a spell.
On that note, the little clock in the lower right corner of my screen keeps ticking the minutes away. Please excuse me while I roust the boys so we can go connect with yet another friend. A few years back, we were invited to join her at her traditional cookie baking day. So, it is now one of our holiday traditions to join her and her crew for some messy baking and a bunch of warm fuzzies.
If I keep connecting at this pace, there will soon be room for a new New Year's Resolution. Sweet! Maybe I'll start exercising regularly...
Maybe this is why I always felt more connected at family Christmas' in Switzerland than Australia - because in Australia it's like 110 on Christmas day and we still eat a hot roast and brandy pudding!
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